When I think back to my early years in leadership, I realize there were so many things I had to learn the hard way, through frustration, disappointment, and plenty of late-night pep talks with myself.
I remember one season vividly. I spent four years in a role where I was responsible for leading over 80 people spread across more than 60 various locations. On paper, it looked like a dream. But behind the scenes, it was one of the toughest seasons of my career.
There was constant hidden competition, silent jealousy, and the kind of workplace politics no one trains you for. I gave so much of myself to make it work, until I realized that sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you can’t change an environment that doesn’t want to change.
Eventually, I had to make the hard decision to leave. It felt like failure at the time, but today, I see it as one of my bravest leadership moves, the moment I chose my peace and growth over a position.
Looking back, here are 5 lessons I wish someone had told me earlier. I believe they will help you too.
1. Leadership isn’t always comfortable, and that’s normal
Leading people means managing egos, expectations, and your own emotions. It won’t always feel good, but discomfort is part of growth. Learn to sit with it and grow through it.
2. Your value isn’t tied to one organization
You can give your best, and things may still not work out the way you hoped. Don’t let one job or boss define your worth. You are bigger than any title.
3. People’s insecurities are not your responsibility
You can’t control how others feel about your progress. Stay focused, stay kind, but remember you’re not here to shrink so others feel comfortable.
4. Boundaries are not optional
If you want to survive and thrive as a leader, you must protect your energy. Not every battle is yours to fight. Not every rumor needs your response. Choose what and who deserves your time.
5. Sometimes, walking away can be the wisest move
Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is to leave. It doesn’t mean you failed — it means you’re brave enough to choose yourself. Endings can be painful, but they make room for new beginnings.
Here is a gentle reminder
Leadership is a journey, not a destination. You will make mistakes. You will learn. And yes, you will heal. And every lesson, even the hard ones, will make you better.
If you’re feeling stuck in a place that drains you, I hope you find the courage to choose what’s best for you this season.
You deserve to lead well and live well.
Have you learned a tough leadership lesson lately? I would love to hear it — share it in the comments or message me. Let’s grow together.
Want more real leadership insights?
Stay connected with Pathfinders School of Leadership for stories, coaching tools, and programs designed to help you speak, lead, and rise — confidently.
You should also follow us on our social media pages @elizabethduile